I have fought my whole life to not give up. I think about suicide daily. I always have. It’s normal enough for me now.
I have tried therapy, but the money always runs out. It runs out because I cannot work and deal with this at the same time. I have tried, and I have failed. More times than I care to recount.
Then things got worse….
Another two hour session. During the first hour my therapist and i discussed more trivial matters (not really trivial, but only compared to the second hour) such as my roommates friends saying they did not like me, writing someone who fired me an e-mail, about my therapist reading my blog and my ‘therapeutic’ status. In hour two we further discussed my diagnosis and dissociative identity disorder. This was a long session so these topics were split into three posts, this is Part 1 of Hour 1.
Breakthrough session were I am first able to talk about my abuse out loud. Double session so we talked about many things, including DID, making friends, coping with mental breakdowns and flashbacks, and PTSD habits.
I have a memory about abuse that I have tried to write off to the a scene from the movie, 8mm.